blogs/cantor-phil-baron

Parashat Yitro
22 Sh'vat, 5777
Cantor Phil Baron

Our rabbis tell us that Moses was the humblest of men. After all, he tried to refuse God when asked to lead the Children of Israel. He was “slow of speech” by his own admission. He did not seem to have a very high opinion of himself.

Those who knew him well may have disagreed, as this week's parasha Yitro points out. There is a kind of ego-centrism that often creeps in when we're not looking. It shows up when we think we are being helpful. It's that inner voice that says, “I'll take care of this problem because I know how to handle it better than anyone else.” It will save time if I do it myself, and everyone will benefit, right?

In the first Chassidic book ever published, “Toldot Ya'akov Yosef,” Rabbi R. Yaakov Yosef Hakohen of Polonnoye (d. 1784), tells us that there are three benefits in the world-to-come. The first of these is: One who submits to the wise gains wisdom, as the Sages taught: “[Let your house be a meeting-pace for the wise;] sit at their feet in the dust; [and drink in their words thirstily]” (Avot 1:4), and in this manner “he teaches the lowly His way.” (Ps. 25:9).

This sounds like a pretty straightforward prescription for how to improve yourself: find some people who know more than you do, and learn from them. This is easy to do when you're young. You're not expected to know anything. But as we grow in life and in our work, it gets harder to ask for help and advice. We're supposed to be experts. I have to admit that I enjoy playing the “wise sage” with some of my co-workers, and particularly with my children and my son-in-law. I've experienced a lot in life, and I know how to handle things….er, at least I think I do….

Which brings me to this week's parasha. Yitro (or Jethro) is Moses' father-in-law, and he too enjoys giving advice. But his is truly sage advice. Moses is the one who, surprisingly, needs a dose of humility, and Yirto is the one to provide it.

Moses has a heavy responsibility, that of leading the children of Israel. No one has ever had that job before, so he figures no one else can help. Yitro sees Moses sitting “from morning until evening” acting as magistrate for all disputes public and private. Yitro asks, “What is thing that you are doing to the people?” He sees immediately that while in Moses mind he's doing this for them, he's actually doing something bad to them. He's making them stand in the hot desert sun -- in a que longer than the line for Space Mountain. And more importantly, he's denying the people their right to also serve in positions of responsibility among their own people.

You might say that humility has a “shadow side.” Moses thinks he's being humble. He thinks he's being helpful. He thinks he's a giver. So why is everybody so grumpy? “Toldot Ya'akov Yosef” has the answer. After providing the example of the humble student, the rabbi adds: This is not so for the haughty, who refuse to turn to others for their wisdom, as Scripture says “The wicked, arrogant as he is, does not seek out” (Ps.10:4). Moses may actually be indulging his ego by keeping others from the center of power.

In his article “Leading from Within,” Parker Palmer coined the phrase “functional atheism.” Dr. Palmer goes on to explain: “This is the belief that ultimate responsibility for everything rests with me. It is a belief held even among people whose theology affirms a higher power than the human self, people who do not understand themselves as atheists but whose behavior belies their belief. Functional atheism is an unconscious belief that leads to workaholic behavior, to burn-out, to stressed and strained and broken relationships, to unhealthy priorities.”

Yitro's encourages Moses to choose “capable men out of all Israel…and let them judge the people at all times. Have them bring every major dispute to you, but let them decide every minor dispute themselves.” In other words, Moses needs to learn to delegate. The Torah turns out to be the first business-management book.

The opposite of humility is a kind of haughtiness, an attitude that projects control and an unwillingness to honor the abilities of others. This brings to mind a favorite saying: “It's amazing what you can accomplish when you don't care who gets the credit” (attributed to John Wooden, among others). True humility, not to mention good leadership, dictates that we act as a team and share the spotlight.