blogs/cantor-phil-baron

Parashat Vay'chi
16 Tevet, 5777
Cantor Phil Baron

Bechira: What is True?

Last night I fought my way through terrible traffic to get my daughter to the airport. I was late for another event.  Five minutes after dropping her off, she called to tell me her flight had been cancelled. The futility of my long drive was my first thought. Then, I took a deep breath and thought about the extra time I'd now have with my daughter. I picked her up and learned that the cancellation was due to mechanical failure. I breathed an even bigger sigh of relief and headed back home with a smile on my face. My daughter was safe. We were together. Halleluya.

I had a choice to be stressed, frustrated, and critical. But in the moment that I chose to be grateful, all my aggravation vanished.   

I was practicing “mindfulness,” a word that exploded into the public consciousness about two years ago and I knew that it had become a true fad when I noticed “Mindfulness” magazine on the newsstand at Whole Foods. When I saw the magazine I suddenly felt that this precious and ancient (and yes, Jewish) idea could easily become a passing fashion, like bell-bottoms.

That would be a shame, because we can learn a great deal about how to live a life of holiness from this simple yet profound idea. Normally, our heads are full of noise. We plan in great detail, and we fixate on the past, often reliving things in our history, questioning, replaying, remembering. Often these exercises are useful for learning and internalizing important information. But if you slow down for bit, and just watch your thoughts arise, you'll quickly see that much of your mind's occupation is with unnecessary and unhelpful fantasies. 

Mindfulness itself can be practiced without sitting cross-legged or climbing to a cave on a Himalayan mountain. You can begin practicing what I call “divine noticing” right now. Jews are commanded to do this all the time. Each time you recite a b'racha, touch and kiss a mezuza, or eat a kosher meal, you are reminding yourself that this moment is precious, and unlike any other. Rabbi Jonathan Slater, in his book “A Partner in Holiness” writes, “The mindfulness aspect of Jewish life extends beyond the practical aspects of Jewish observance…Jewish life is fulfilled not only by performing prescribed acts, but also by doing so with consciousness.” In fact, the lack of this consciousness, even in prayer once earned the wrath of the prophet Isaiah. “My Lord said: Because that people has approached me with its mouth, and honored me with its lips, but kept its heart far from me, and its worship of me has been a commandment of men, learned by rote.” (Is. 29:13) You might say that we spend too much time living “by rote” and not enough time really experiencing the sacred moments of our lives.  

Rabbi Slater states that “Mindfulness practice, and perhaps all spiritual practice, might be described as helping us be more able to “show up.” Can I can stop the inner chatter long enough to ask, “What is true in this moment?” When in conversation, am I able to stop thinking “what am I going to say next?” instead of truly listening?  

Ultimately, we have a choice. Rabbi Sheila Peltz Weinberg writes about the crossroads, or Bechirah Point, at which we can turn our attention to the moment, “where I can act freely, intentionally, and in relationship with the self, the other and the Divine.” It is the Bechirah Point �" the choice to remain “in our heads” or to truly engage in the “now” that determines our ability to use any given moment as a doorway to transformation. Or, on a more mundane everyday level, you may find a way to turn an annoying experience into an opportunity, like my trip to the airport last night. 

In this week's Torah portion, Jacob calls his sons together and twice asks them to “harken.”  They have a choice. They can listen and humbly accept their father's frank evaluation of each brother's character and decide to change, or they can become filled with negative thoughts, returning to their own self-interest. It's their bechirah moment.

If you are interested in this notion, or the topic of Jewish Spirituality, Rabbi Slater (whom I quoted above) will be our guest this week at VBS. He'll teach with Rabbi Feinstein on Shabbat morning, January 14, followed by some brief meditation and music. Then the rabbi will join me for a Shabbat shiur, and conversation about Jewish mindfulness and meditation. I hope you can join us.