Rabbi Noah Farkas Articles

Pesach

Limerick: Audience must complete the limerick.

One day God Called Moses on the Bat Phone
And said, Israelites You’re not alone
So put a lamb on the fire
Or your first ones will expire
And now we celebrate with the … Answer: shank bone.

Multiple Choice: Names for Passover!
When the rabbis were editing the Haggadah they had to decide what to call the holiday, what are other names for the holiday?

Stuff your face day!
Cracker day!
Buy more dishes Day! (They wanted to call it that especially since bed bath offered 20% off coupon to all Jews buying new pesach dishes).
Answer: Cracker day! 
Actually matzah is a cracker Chag Hamatzot is another name for the holiday.

Stuff your face day wasn’t used because we already have Thanksgiving in America, and as Americans most people do this every day.

Change your dishes day wasn’t used because the rabbis couldn’t get sponsorship from Bed Bath and Beyond, especially since 20% was all they were offering.

Will Shortz Style Puzzle: All the answers use some variant of the word “Passover” It gets very creative here, so watch out!

Example: After a huge meal and four cups of wine, Uncle Murray is what on the couch? Passed Out

Your cousin Barbara was supposed to be here 30 minutes ago with her hasroset. But now the guests are getting restless and kids are running out of songs. She texts you and says “I’m stuck in traffic because there’s a wreck on the …. “ Under Pass Over Pass.

When God said to the Israelites that they would go free from Egypt only to wander in the desert for 40 years a few Israelites might have said this: “I’ll take a pass.” Or Pass me over on that one. Or I’ll Pass that one up.

After the Angel of Death came swooping through Egypt and killed every first born, the Israelites went to their neighbors’ houses and said “Well, I guess they, ______ “Hint, another name for death. “Passed On” “Passed away”

Your baby brother won’t stop crying because he ate too much maror. To calm him down you might give him a what? A Pacifier.

By the 4th night of eating Matzah and leftovers your uncle Izzy was known to say: “I’m done with the ___, let’s get to the ___.” Past;Over.

MATZAH

Limerick

It’s the bread of affliction
For Jews it’s an addiction
We left in haste,
So much for the taste,
Let’s raise the Matzah make a _______. Answer: Benediction

Matzah Facts: Which one of these NEVER occurred

1. In 2001, Israel's Interior Ministry conducted raids on local restaurants to make sure they weren't serving leavened bread during Passover. Fining Israelis about 100 NIS for every infraction.
2. In 1973, Apollo 17 astronaut Gene Cernan shouted, "Man, oh, Manischewitz," the matzo company's slogan, in the middle of his moonwalk.
3. In 1992, at Barcelona Summer Olympic Games, Yael Arad, the Israeli Judo competitor, took Silver, Israel’s first Olympic metal. When asked how she got interested in the sport she said, she used to watch her brothers practicing breaking wood blocks. She would then break a stack of matzahs to be just like them.
4. In 2008, competitive-eating champion Joey Chestnut ate 78 matzo balls in eight minutes for a $1,500 prize.

Answer: 3. Yael Arad did compete and take a Silver.    

• In 2001, the Israeli Government made almost 1,000,000 NIS charging Tel Aviv restaurant owners over the course of the holiday.
• Gene Cernan’s shout was actually used in a Manischewitz commercial.
• Joes Chestnut is a professional eater, if there is such a thing. Holds several Guinness world records.  SOURCE: TIME MAGAZINE (NO KIDDING)

To 10 list: Uses for matzah After the Seder : READ BOTTOM UP

1. A dress for lady GaGa
2. Heat shield for the space shuttle
3. Frisbee
4. Ceiling tile
5. Graduation hat (Mortar Board)
6. Ipad cover
7. Insulation
8. Replacement Playing Cards
9. Dartboard
10. Coaster

MAROR:

Limerick

It makes your tongue sore
It’s so hot you’ll roar
But it’s great on a fish
With a carrot, a delish
Now someone pass the ____. Answer: Maror.

Jewparadoy!     Category: Bitter Herbs:

100 – She was bitter that Moses, her son, became a rabbi and not a doctor. 
Who was Yocheved?

200 – Now replaced by the ubiquitous Horseradish, this was the original food used for Maror. What is Romaine Lettuce?   (In fact it’s mentioned in the Talmud directly) the first to use Horseradish was Rabbi Meir HaKohen 1300s first to use the bitter root as Maror.

400 – America’s 31st President, on his watch the stock market crashed bitterly leading to the Great Depression. Who is Herbert Hoover?

500 – This fragrant herb has been used as a treatment for Rumetism, a balm for lower back pain, cough medicine, and even a strong aphrodisiac. 
What is Horseradish?

1000 - This pepper, rating over 1,000,000 heat units on the Scoville Scale is so hot that it is used as both a weapon in pepper spray and as a remedy for summer heat by causing instant sweating. What is the Ghost Naga Chili Pepper?  

Enjoy! Have a great Passover!!